The conflicted spirit.

The year was 2016 if I am not mistaken, I was watching CNN, and saw in the news a young boy covered in post-bomb debris, I shed a tear that day, the scene was very sad.

Questions filled my head, and answers were not forthcoming. I was sad, angry, and confused as to why God will let such an innocent boy go through such. Questions like; if God knows the end from the beginning, why would he let such a thing happen to a child?

This was where it all started, my inquisitiveness took full effect, and I questioned everything; is there a God? I questioned the Bible’s origin, Bible stories, and religious doctrines and this led to much more confusion.

When you search, you will usually find what you are looking for or something close to it, and this was the case for me. This whole phase taught me that I needed to be careful about what I searched for.

What I searched for was proof that there is no God and I found what I was looking for; from the suffering in the world, and not being able to comprehend certain stories in the bible like the flooding of the ark, I tried to rationalize everything in my head which led me deeper into the wrong path, no man can comprehend God I later understood.

I read all sorts of materials, watched videos, spoke with people, and had many arguments, sadly I always won these arguments in my mind, haha.

I was lost, neither here nor there, there was a void. Something about this emptiness is; if you do not consciously fill them up with the right things, all sorts of wrong things will try to fill them up.

The fact that many Pastors have abused that position and calling made it easy for me to draw conclusions, financial prosperity and flamboyance seem to have taken over. I judged these men so effortlessly and it further increased my conviction even though I have no right to judge.

In all these, I always listened to messages of Dr. Myles Munroe; Bishop TD Jakes; Dr. Dotun Reju, and Rev. Sam Adeyemi from time to time, these are men I have love and deep respect for, not your conventional pastors. I thank God I listened to their messages on YouTube, I thank God. They were the link for me, no matter how deep I went, these messages still stirred something in my mind.

I lost a good relationship due to my inquisitive and lost nature, stopped going to church, and was generally anti-religion (I am still anti-religious, I believe religion has done more harm than good).

God has given us free will, this is why everyone can do whatever they want and seemingly go scot-free.

No man can comprehend God; we can only make assumptions and deductions.

God is after the soul of man, and the devil is too (this is the most important part of this write-up).

Please, people, the Bible lets us know that the devil is the prince of the power of the air Ephesians 2:2. He possesses the power to manifest evil in the world by influencing people. What better way to influence people than through the media? We need to be careful what we read, watch and listen to, and guard our soul whatever it takes.

With God on your side, there is peace of mind no matter the situation, you know someone larger than life itself is watching over you.

Without God, there is chaos, I know this.

#MEMBA11