Am I alone in this? I cannot be the only one who feels this way sometimes or I would like to believe...

Faith Uyi Minister Written by Faith Uyi Minister · 1 min read >

Am I alone in this? I cannot be the only one who feels this way sometimes or I would like to believe so. I spent most of my evening pondering the above. Perhaps if I ever found the answer, I would solve all my problems. I found myself caught in the deception of cognitive miserliness one more time. Trying to solve all my problems with a magic blue pill, the temptation of mediocrity.
I have lived a couple of years on earth, yet still so young. I have so much fascinating about life. From the fact that we seem to be in control of everything and yet hardly anything. Life is a parody and a paradox, we all try to mimic the author (God) but at our best, we are only mere comic exaggerations of His reality.
In my curiosity, I went to our friend. Not the Nigerian police, I went to Google the amazing search engine. I asked ‘her’ – as I would love to believe she is female seeing that she knows everything, and she knows everybody’s secret. Although she could not do so much to help my course, I was a bit calmer after my search.
We hardly ever make the best decisions, yet we are the biggest critics of the decisions of others only facing our inadequacies behind closed doors. We all, even to the humblest, have our fair share of the god-complexity. Perhaps it is because we were created in His image, I may never know. Our god-complexity prevents us from being vulnerable and sincere with how we feel.
We may not always be perfect or do the right thing, but if we try, then I can say we are still good people. Some days are hard and our souls cannot figure out the truth. I call those days the ‘survival days’. Life is a big picture and even in if we live it for 90 years, we may still never always make the right choices.
My therapist would always tell me, ‘Faith, forgive yourself and move on. Reflecting on his words, it is rather foolhardy to stand on a moving treadmill. Life is never still and even though we may never fully understand why we do not always make smart moves, sometimes we just need to forgive ourselves and move on.
Forgive the procrastination, forgive the loose emotions, forgive the overthinking, and then also forgive ourselves for overtrusting. We cannot always be smart all the time and sometimes smartness ruins the fun of life robbing you of a beautiful glory story.
So, in conclusion, let us thank the mistakes we make for allowing us to learn. Mistakes are better made now than tomorrow. Most importantly, we must take the lessons learned and become better individuals. Not perfect but better individuals. The world is starving, it needs beauty to keep alive and we can do so much when we learn to judge ourselves and others less. Because after all, even if you live for a million years, you would still see that life is short.

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