This is not a gender issue but today we will call a spade what it is and not mince words.
I would like for us to take a deep dive into some rot causes of this violence against women.
Domestic violence refers to aggression in human interaction in which one party presumed to be ‘bigger’ or has a higher advantage treats the other party as less. This can be exhibited in behaviors such as physical aggression, rape, molestation, all forms of maltreatment, brutality. Etc.
Ladies face all forms of maltreatment from birth even up till adulthood
- At birth: we know that male children are preferred to females and this can be felt from the point of conception where the parents are happier at the birth of male children. Parents that have only female children are usually seen as ‘missing something’ until a male child is born.
- Youth /early adulthood; the boy-child is the most ‘useful’ child, so he is treated as such. He is the one who is taught to be strong, he is the one whose education is prioritized because after all only him will take the ‘family name’ forward. This is also seen in how he is properly nurtured for family life unlike the girlchild who is given away early in marriage
- Adulthood: a lot of ladies face all sorts of assaults in their daily lives. It is women that are vulnerable to attack from strangers even when they have done nothing but ‘exist’. It is also women who are taught to learn self-defense by purchasing pepper spray and always have a sharp item in their bag for defense against the other gender
- Marriage: this is where the most terrible form of violence happens. Remember that most women are not taught to be strong, they carry this timidity to marriage; also, remember a large sum of them are married to older men and they were married off at a young age. These men are like saviors to them, the women have no power against them; they have been intimidated into thinking that the husbands are always right.
Infact, when they even as much as report these happenings to their families, they are made to understand that their marital home is where they belong, and they should be subservient. They are given the task of being a mother, wife, homemaker all in one usually without the help of their partners. Some of these women can not leave these terrible homes because of ‘what society will say’.
5. Working women; now my favorite group of women but then they suffer so much patriarchy. Where should I begin? The fact that most women are not deemed ‘fit’ for some specific job roles? Or the fact that when we manage to score some ‘manly’ roles, the pay gap between male and female in that role is wide. Can we also mention the fact that a lot of working women are expected to exchange their bodies for expert development- something men get just with one ‘beer-parlor’ talk.
I will end here now and continue in our next episode