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Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Hijack!

Ifeyinwa Chioke Written by Ifeyinwa Chioke · 2 min read >

Are you Emotionally intelligent?

One of the very interesting Brush-up classes we had in August was the Emotional Intelligence Class. I will be discussing some of the things I learned from the two classes on Emotional Intelligence.

The phrase “Emotional Intelligence” was first used in 1990 by researchers John Mayer and Peter Salovey, but Daniel Goleman, a psychologist, later popularized it.

Definition

Emotional intelligence is the capacity to identify, comprehend, and control one’s own emotions as well as the capacity to comprehend and affect the emotions of others. Understanding how emotions affect people’s behaviors and have a positive or negative impact on them.

The capacity to recognize, utilize, and control your own emotions to reduce stress, communicate, sympathize with others, overcome obstacles, and resolve conflict is known as emotional intelligence (also known as emotional quotient, or EQ). Your relationships will be stronger, you’ll do better in school and at work, and you’ll accomplish your professional and personal goals with the aid of emotional intelligence. You can use it to connect with your emotions, put your intentions into action, and decide what matters to you most.

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence

Four characteristics serve as frequent descriptors of emotional intelligence:

Self-management: You can restrain impulsive thoughts, feelings, and actions, regulate your emotions in healthy ways, take charge, keep your word, and change course in response to new situations.

Self-awareness: You’re aware of your own emotions and how they impact your decisions and actions. You are self-assured and aware of your strengths and flaws.

Social Awareness: You have empathy and are socially conscious. You can perceive the power dynamics in a group or organization, as well as the emotions, needs, and worries of others. You can also pick up on emotional clues.

Relationship management: You are skilled at creating and preserving strong bonds, speaking clearly, moving others to action, collaborating effectively with others, and handling disagreements.

Emotional Intelligence Facts

Fact 1: IQ (Intelligence quotient) stops growing from the ages of 16 to 25 years, then it starts going down, but your EQ (Emotional Intelligence) continues to grow and go up.

Fact 2: Your IQ accounts for 20% of your life’s success. EQ takes you far in life

Fact 3: EQ determines how well you can use your other intelligent skills and abilities

Fact 4: Strongest driver for leadership and personal excellence is your EQ. You can be fired for lack of EQ.

Emotional Hijack

Basic emotions are:

  1. Fear,
  2. Anger,
  3. Sadness,
  4. Happiness or pleasant emotions,
  5. Surprise,
  6. Disgust

Controlling of Amygdala is what makes you emotionally intelligent. An emotional Hijack happens when you are unable to control the Amygdala.

When we experience an emotional hijack, our thinking brain becomes paralyzed, which lowers our IQ, impairs our capacity to make difficult judgments, prevents us from seeing various points of view, and compromises our memory.

The fight-or-flight reaction is triggered by the amygdala because you would need to act immediately.

Controlling or avoiding the Emotional Hijack:

Do the following to control or avoid emotional hijack

  1. Name the Emotion- understand and realize you are mad and say it out loud
  2. Change the setting- you can walk away from the location or place
  3. Do a quick count- count from 1 to 10
  4. Share the story or the issue with someone else.

The above will aid you in controlling your emotions and prevent an emotional hijack.

From that Class, I always remember emotional Hijack, and consistently the words alone have deterred me from being emotionally hijacked.

Advantages of being Emotionally Intelligence

  1. Improves Communication Skills,
  2. Enhances Social Skills,
  3. Creates a Positive Environment,
  4. Teaches you How to React to Constructive Criticism,
  5. Teaches you How to Move to the Next Level,
  6. Reduces Stress,
  7. Helps you Conquer your Fears, Doubts, and Insecurities.
  8. Increases your tolerance level
  9. Helps you deal with change and uncertainties
  10. Better leadership and sense of Accountability
  11. Strengthens team or group cohesiveness

References

https://www.google.com/search?q=emotional+intelligence&oq=emotional+Intelligence&aqs=chrome.0.0i433i512l2j0i512l2j46i512j0i512l5.5720j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

https://positivepsychology.com/emotional-intelligence-theories/#components-emotional-intelligence

https://www.google.com/search?q=emotional+hijacking&oq=Emotional+Hijack&aqs=chrome.0.0i512j69i57j0i512l8.6079j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

https://www.muhealth.org/our-stories/brain-hacks-4-ways-avoid-emotional-hijacking-and-keep-yourself-check#:~:text=During%20an%20emotional%20hijack%2C%20our,helpful%20scenario%20in%20social%20settings.

https://www.google.com/search?q=advantages+of+emotional+intelligence&oq=advantages+of+emotional+intelligence&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i131i433i512j0i131i433j0i131i433i512j0i131i433j0i433i512j0i512j0i433i512j0i131i433i512j0i512.13459j1j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

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