Being Emotionally Aware….

Mariam Bolakale Written by Mariam Bolakale · 2 min read >

Quick Question:

Was there ever a time….

  • When you said or did something out of anger that you regretted later?
  • When you misread someone’s intentions or the political climate at work?
  • When you found it hard to focus on a task because of how you were feeling at the time?

All these are related to emotions, I have had a session on managing emotions with Jimi Tewe company in the past, but recently in my brush-up sessions with Lagos business school, I had a recap of the topic Emotional intelligence.

Presently I lead a team of financial advisors where we provide portfolio management and Investment advisory services to clientele, this activity involves managing diverse customers, managing their emotions and proffering professional advice.

To start with, Let’s look at what Emotions is.

For me, Emotion is simply your human ENERGY in MOTION.

We can also look at it as being a complex, subject experience accompanied by biological and behavioral changes. Emotions involves feeling, thinking, activation of nervous system, physiological changes, and behavioral changes such as facial expressions.

In this episode, I will reflect on what emotional intelligence is and how we can actively manage one’s own and others’ emotions.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

According to Stougn and Palmer (2002), “It refers to the capacity to deal effectively with one’s own and others’ emotions. When applied to a workplace, it involves the capacity to effectively perceive, express, understand and manage emotions in a professional manner”

In Addition, my understanding of emotional intelligence, I will say it’s the capacity for understanding our own feelings and the feelings of others, for motivating ourselves and for managing our relationships.

Unlike Personality and IQ, Emotional Intelligence is regarded as a set of skills or abilities that can be learned and developed.

In my sessions, I learned about four emotional intelligence frameworks and they are below:

  • Self-awareness: This is the core of emotional intelligence, it is recognizing how our emotions affect our performance and knowing one’s own inner resources, abilities and limits.
  • Self-management: This involves emotional self-control, keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check, It also involves flexibility in handling change.
  • Social awareness: This is empathy, sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns.
  • Relationship management: This involves conflict management and having a positive impact on others.

I have also identified six keyways on how one can develop Emotional Intelligence:

  • Insight: I can see my strengths and gaps
  • Motivation: I can see the value in closing these gaps
  • Planning: I have an action plan that will close these gaps
  • Activity: My Perspective has been considered when selecting development activities
  • Consolidating: My Learning will be reinforced over the long term
  • Tracking: I can measure my achievements.

In life, our response to a situation or an event will lead to an outcome, there is what I do call the power to choose. We are born with the freedom and power to choose.

Stimulus — Freedom to choose  —  Response

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie growth and happiness.

I will conclude this episode with one of my favorite quotes…

Life and work throws various stimuli at you…..your response is what makes the difference.

My next blog will shed more light on the different frameworks and understanding of Emotional Hijack.


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