Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence…gleanings from LBS

Hmmm…I wonder if everyone truly understands this topic. This has set me thinking so much. I am going to be sharing some gleanings, my learning points from the prestigious Lagos Business School. It’s as if I had never known what emotion is or permit me to say, “what emotions are”. Wondering why a man suddenly comes up with a plan to kill his wife; why would a woman conclusively feels the best way out of her predicament is to sniff life out of the one to whom she said “for better, for worse” when taking the marital oath, oh! you say, where is their first love? I wonder too….and the story goes on and on; emotion on rampage!

What is emotional intelligence, or should I say, what is emotional management?

This is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and ability to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. When a man, and woman alike, can bring under control his/her emotions, it goes a long way to measuring the level of maturity which resides in such an individual. I must say at this juncture, that such innate ability is of utmost importance for the society to thrive, failure of which the entire ecosystem is thrown into unnecessary chaos.

The inability of individuals to have a grip on their emotions have caused several uncountable distortions in our society. We have heard of husbands and wives maiming one another due to anger and irreconcilable differences, which if each was able to manage their emotions, such would not have happened. A case came to mind where an angry man set his wife on fire due to rage, and vise versa. Why? is my question. These are avoidable disasters if only we can manage our emotions. I dare say that countless of the troubles we struggle with today could have been avoided if we had managed our emotions. The question is how we manage all these unnecessary outbursts, which seems to be “bursting” several lives today.

I shall attempt to give us certain tips that will be useful to apply whenever we find ourselves about to throw tantrums because of unpredictable emotional outburst. I strongly hope you would find this piece useful in your everyday living.

According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped to popularize emotional intelligence, there are five key elements to understand when discussing this topic:

• Self-awareness
• Self-regulation
• Motivation
• Empathy
• Social skills

Self-awareness: firstly, everyone who has reached the age of accountability should be aware of himself or herself. You are expected to know who you are and what you are capable of. This has to do with the individual having a conscious knowledge of one’s own character and feelings. 

Once you are self-aware, you can deliberately choose what to do and what not to, your response to issues becomes a matter of deliberateness; you can control yourself. For example, when you are angered, you can take a brake from such environment to forestall the breakdown of law and order. The ability to do this shows that you can take control of your emotions, and with continuous practice, the individual is able become emotionally intelligent.

To be continued….

Andrew Omeike

#MEMBA 11