How to


Moboluwape Moradeyo Written by Moboluwape Moradeyo · 1 min read >

To get a deeper understanding and also bring to a conclusion my learnings on the topic, “Emotional intelligence”, it is necessary to add this post on how to build emotional intelligence to maximize the benefits.

Emotional intelligence, in summary, is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you.  And as stated in my earlier post, it is an essential recipe for successful leaders and anyone that is success-driven.

The goal of emotional Intelligence is to get the best possible result from yourself and other people relating to you. In other words, to be the best you can be.

Major signs of low emotional intelligence

Before we get into building our emotional intelligence, it will be helpful to know the signs of low emotional intelligence.

When you notice these signs, it is high time you invested in building your emotional intelligence.

  1. Highly opinionated: Always arguing with others, with the mindset that other people’s opinion does not count.
  2. Lack of empathy: Insensitive. Cannot distinguish appropriate from inappropriate behaviour.
  3. Always blaming others: Want to be right and defensive always.
  4. Unpredictable emotional explosions: Easily triggered by trivial matters.
  5. Always feeling stressed: Having a hard time coping with emotional situations.
  6. Anger mismanagement: Easily irritable
  7. Relationship problems: Cannot share emotional connections with others.
  8. Self-centred: Want to be the star of every conversation.
  9. Depression.
  10. Prone to violence.

It is important to recognize your situation and be willing to do something about it.

How to build emotional intelligence

The first step in building your emotional intelligence is recognizing your own emotions. This is self-awareness.

  • Learn what triggers are and how they can impact your emotions. Observe your feelings. Keep a journal.
  • Ask for constructive feedback from others to enable you to grow in knowledge and competence.
  • Practice active listening to others.
  • Be a solution instead of arguing.
  • Emotional Agility: Be flexible with your thought no matter what happens. Always see the positive side of life.
  • Learn effective communication: Pay attention to body language. Be open to other people’s ideas and perspectives.
  • Manage your stress: Maintain a routine.
  • Keep a heart of gratitude. Be grateful for the little things in your life.
  • Manage your anger.

Here are some anger management tips.

  • Keep quiet: Whenever you are angry do not talk.
  • Practice impulse control: Smile, take a deep breath and count to 100.
  • Meditate
  • Sing a song
  • Walk away
  • Think of something funny and important things in your life.

Qualities of high emotional intelligence

  • Speaking kindly to oneself.
  • Not comparing or competing with others.
  • Not afraid to fail or make mistakes.
  • Personal accountability
  • Calm even when faced with difficult challenges.

Emotional intelligent people are often termed as being mature as they are seen as always being in control of situations. Having a low emotional intelligence can affect various aspects of your life hence, the need to build it.

Remember, channelling your emotions to building people and driving great initiatives will benefit you and those around you in the long run.

Thank you for reading.


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