CRAZY “2”

My first son who is 2 years and 8 months made me go nuts. I remember on his second birthday, his Godmother said to me, “Welcome to the world of crazy 2” it was funny, and I looked forward to it.

Uche was a very calm and easily frightened baby, and I was a bit worried about that. I had always wanted him to play with his peers, but he will rather cling to me or his mom. You hardly hear his voice.  I know he is just 2 years, and you will be wondering what is wrong with this guy! He is my first, I think that explains it (smiles).

I enrolled him in a school, took him to parties, and I will always take him to where his fellow kids are. I do not want him to be an arch introvert like his dad. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, but his dad’s is at the highest level if there is anything like that.

Most of the time he will be asleep while I leave for work in the morning and the same when I am back from work. I am out very early on Saturday for my workout, when I am back, I barely spend an hour before going to the office. Sunday is about driving around, visiting relatives from 1 pm when we are back from Mass. I hardly have a good time with him.

One weekend, I decided to spend my whole time at home. That was the longest weekend I ever had. it was quite rough for me because, in the end, l lost my voice. Some months back, when I was told that he spoilt my television, I never believed it. I supposed someone was trying to push the action on the poor little boy. He has not started watching spider man or superman, how did he learn how to climb the shelves and tables, even to hang on the window protector. The house was filled with the noise of falling items and tumbling cans. He will not even listen to you or answer his name when you call on him. On the previous Saturday, while my wife was washing some of his clothes, he was busy washing my wife’s phone. I mean mobile phone. Of course, I had to part with some cash to fix the phone. That cost me 20,000 Naira.  It was my fault, I caused it. I bought an inflatable swimming pool for him, and I put his toy phones and other toys when he is playing in it. I forgot to tell him that a toy phone is different from a mobile phone.

A week after that incident, that is the weekend I stayed home, he submerged the same phone in water. This time he filled his plate with water and submerged the phone while watching Cocomelon. So, I reverted to the 80s, I brought out HIS cane and gave him two lashes. This boy whistled with his mouth and ran away. I felt defeated. This boy did not cry!! Well, I don’t need to punish him so hard, I told myself. I was about to take a nap when I heard my wife yelling at him, I rushed to the bedroom and I saw my son holding my own phone just above a bucket filled with water, with the “do not dare me” look on his face. Yes, this is the time to show him who the daddy is, a voice told me. I caught him, I held his hand with my left arm and his entire body in between my legs, just the way my dad does it. A stroke of the cane and he exploded with a loud cry. Yea!! I won. I guess that was a sleeping pill also because he slept afterwards, and we all rested for some time. Although I felt I overreacted considering his age.

Even though it is old fashion to hit a child I think sometimes pressing the hard reset button will not cause much harm, especially when it has to do with things that can result in huge property loss or fatal accidents. Just my Opinion.

#MMBA 3