Many years ago, my grandmother taught me not to run when i encounter a mentally derailed person on the street. She strongly believed that mad people assumed they were mentally okay and we were the sick ones. I questioned this belief as I grew older and witnessed a hot pursuit of a Lagos slay queen who walked majestically beside a mentally sick man. I shared the story with my granny and she convinced me again that the slay queen must have fidgeted while strolling past him, he sensed fear then tried to attack her.
You know what they say about wisdom and old age. One of my standing rules then became, “never run at the sight of a mad person.” As a matter of fact, i am convinced it triggers a similar response as when you beat the traffic light, then you tell the LASTMA officer, “Sir, i can explain.” Don’t ask me how best to get out of this situation with a LASTMA officer, I cannot say for sure. But I can guarantee you that silence will make the situation better than saying, “I can explain.” No matter how tight a corner you think you are in, NEVER say or do these two things.
I started to notice this mentally ill woman, whose giant stomach was easy to spot on my street exactly two months ago. I called her Nma, which means beauty because the gods chose to bless her with a gorgeous face. Whenever I run into Nma, I simply walk past calmly like my grandmother told me to. God rest her soul, amen. I however could not help but notice that she always smiled at me.
Fast forward to today, i saw her across the street but her belly fat was missing. I wondered what could have happened.
Liposuction? This was becoming a trend among lagos babes, though it was not as common as the enhancement of the posterior anatomy which i think produces ridiculous results by the way. Either it moved to one side or the silicon used for the enhancement was simply stuck in the middle..amazing sights to behold indeed.
The pressure to be picture perfect is getting to almost young girl in Lagos including the person sharing this. Instagram is not helping at all, you will open the app and see perfect curves with long beautiful noses all over your timeline. I don’t mind getting a surgery to enhance one or two places ooo, but I will rather die than go to those so called surgeons in Lekki phase one. I will keep saving my money in my piggy box, my precious “kolo” and hopefully one day I will get enough to consult the doctors in Beverly Hills, far away in America. Dreams come true, right?
I was brought back to reality when someone nudged me, then I asked myself if Nma could have walked from Yaba to phase one.Could she have walked that far? Who would even attend to her?
Then it clicked. Just like we use to see in the soap opera, superstory. She was pregnant and had brought forth, the man has probably come to steal the baby too..jeez these things really happen?
Interesting times, i must say.
I heard the reason mad people chase those who run is because the can see the fear in their eyes. What if the reason they smile at people is because they see sadness in their eyes? Can Nma see the grief in mine?
I stood across the street staring at her, then she smiled yet again and i walked away quietly like i always did. #MMBA3