Emotional Intelligence (Search Inside Yourself)

• A personal account of my learnings from the module as facilitated by Gen Tunde and Yinka Reis

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is about our own feelings as well as the feelings of others around us. It helps us maintain emotional awareness and sensitivity, while also learning the tools we need to remain balanced. As a result, we can refer to EI as a continuous process of acquiring new skills, to better understand oneself and others.

Intelligence Quotient is not Emotional Intelligence

A variety of tests are employed to determine IQ. Generally, it is assumed that there is a standard metric for assessing human IQ. The IQ exam assesses skills such as literacy, arithmetic, and spatial awareness.

Emotional Intelligence is not concerned with our abilities or skills, nor with our successes. or personalities. Both introverts and extroverts can have high emotional intelligence.

Cultural Intelligence

In recent times, another quotient has become popular – cultural intelligence. Cultural intelligence or Cultural Quotient (CQ) is the capacity to interact and work effectively with people of diverse cultures. It is the capability to be tolerant of the way of life of others different from yours. It can also be described as the ability to embrace diversity.

Emotional Intelligence – Definition

In 1990, Peter Salovey and John Mayer, two American psychologists, recognized and described EI as a learned ability to successfully identify, evaluate, and communicate our feelings, as well as to control our emotions so that they work for us rather than against us.

Components of Emotional Intelligence

1. Intrapersonal Axis

• Self-Awareness
• Self-Management

     2. Interpersonal Axis 

• Social Awareness
• Relationship Management

The two intrapersonal EI competencies help us manage our relationship with ourselves.

Self-Reflection Exercise

Consider the following circumstances and record the thoughts that go through your mind and the emotions you may feel:

1. What do you love most about your job?
2. What challenges do you experience on your job?
3. Making a mistake at work
4. Dealing with an angry client/co-worker
5. Receiving constructive feedback
6. Getting a compliment

Conversely, the two interpersonal EI competencies help us manage our relationships with others.

The initial step in developing Emotional Intelligence is to focus on Intrapersonal Skills by establishing self-awareness and self-regulation. Consequently, interpersonal skills can be easily improved once intrapersonal skills are established. This includes such interpersonal skills as empathy and how successfully we form and keep connections with people. In fact, individuals with highly developed intrapersonal skills generally demonstrate better interpersonal skills.

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness requires paying attention to how we are feeling in each moment. This leads to enhanced self-confidence as well as a better understanding of how we react to internal and external stimuli over time.

Self-Management

By conducting regular and objective self-assessment, individuals can self-regulate more effectively. This means that an individual is better equipped to influence and control one’s own behaviour and reactions to stimuli.

Social awareness

Our ability to identify and respond to social cues improves with empathy training. This has to do with our ability to comprehend others, their emotions, and their conduct within the context of a bigger organizational framework.

Relationship Management

We can enhance our ability to deepen our relationships with others once we have a better understanding of them.

This is crucial for leaders because it reflects in the capacity to:

• develop cohesive teams
• practice inspirational and collaborative leadership
• influence others 
• be change agents
• prevent conflict
• manage conflict