Slay Queens and the Impact of False Narratives

Gbemisola Afolabi Written by Gbemisola Afolabi · 1 min read >

Having been in Lagos for three weeks, all I can say is a lot of ladies I’ve met own either an iPhone 12, or wear a bone straight weave. The constant pressure to look flashy and flamboyant is the new normal. It is the new lifestyle we have all embraced.

I mean! Before a security official opens the door and accords due respect; he would have analyzed and sized you based on your appearance. There is a new breed of women in the town known as “slay queens” on social media.

Slay Queen

According to the urban dictionary, 

“a slay queen is a woman who is a gold digger, who is active on social media by posting the highlight of their expensive travels, party lifestyle and pretending to pay for the expenses when in reality it’s being paid for by a sugar daddy or her fraudulent boyfriend”.

Young ladies nowadays want to be with way richer older men or fraudulent young men. These days, most ladies do not care what their spouses are doing to make money as far as they can afford the expensive lifestyle. This right here has broken a lot of homes, sent a lot of ladies to their early grave, and has affected a lot of others’ self-esteems.

Impact Of False Narratives

A lot of young girls are under pressure by thinking working hard would afford them that lifestyle, whereas in reality, even a manager that has put in ten years of work, earning a million naira a month cannot afford to fly on a private jet or go on fancy holidays as frequently as these slay queens do. So when these young girls finish university; graduate, or get a job, after working for a year, two, or even three and realize they still cannot afford such a lifestyle, it puts them under pressure and when they see their counterparts doing the same thing they do yet affording such luxury lifestyle, they tend to give up on their dreams without knowing that success is slow and continuous the process which for some people might take five years and for others might take twenty. All these have given a false narrative that success equals wealth.

This has put several young generation women in a dilemma of picking the right role model. For instance, if you ask most undergraduate women to pick between a young bank manager climbing the corporate ladder with a bright future in banking but who cannot afford the luxury lifestyle and a slay queen who claims to be an influencer flies a private jet, sip luxury wine, wears expensive pieces of jewelry live in a well-furnished mansion. A lot of them will pick the latter.

It is important to train up a girl child in the right way, Instilling values in her and making her understand that success is a gradual process, it doesn’t happen overnight, and the need to differentiate success from riches. A schoolteacher that has been in the field for forty years shouldn’t be considered less successful than a rich Instagram influencer due to their income disparities. 

Once we can teach our kids to differentiate success from riches, then we can raise a better generation.

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