General

EARLY RUSH

Lilian Elohor Emukowhate Written by Lilian Elohor Emukowhate · 1 min read >

We can get sidelined by our anxiety and hormones in the beginning of a new relationship. We lose our center when we are so distracted with the idea of being chosen that we forget to slow down and ask whether or not this is something we want to consciously choose. Just because we are flooded with hormones that make us want to explore someone, does not mean they are an aligned partnership match for us.

 It’s easy to tell yourself, “I’m going to take things slow this time”, but things get hazy when you are moonstruck and want your partner to know everything about you right now. Feeling seen by a new partner who truly gets you can feel like a drug, and downloading the content of your brain is tempting binge to go on. That desire to jump into new romances headfirst is only natural. The impulses that drive us to rush into getting too serious too soon – are normal.  The human mating dance doesn’t take much time, it often involves a sudden explosion of energy, like the Big Bang. 

Exercising restraint and applying sensible structure to something that feels great requires using the logical parts of our brain to override the pleasure-seeking parts of our brain. People who are not well-differentiated tend to be quick to react, becoming so flooded with emotion they have to run away from a situation or suppress important parts of themselves in order to keep the peace.

Have a strong enough sense of self so that you can properly balance the inevitable tension between the “I” and the “we” in a relationship. Take your time in the beginning, hone your discernment. There is no rush to make It official. Dating is a time where you have an opportunity to get to know someone’s heart, their programming, their belief systems and what kind of future they want because LOVE IS A PRODUCE OF KNOWLEDGE. 

Love at first sight is a sweet concept, but it’s extremely rare. It takes time to truly fall in love. That initial crush you have is a good start, but it’s not quite love yet. You have to spend time with someone to truly know how you feel. 

It’s a time to practice CURIOSITY + QUALIFY this person. So often we “fall into relationships” just like we “fall in love” because we stray from our core and don’t take time to ask deeper questions.

There’s no rush if its right.

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Chinyere Monye in General
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