Insights on Relationships in Nigeria (Part 1)
Dating in Nigeria is tougher than getting a university degree, I call it a vicious circle, its basically has to do with a boy/ girl wanting the other sex while the other sex is clearly wanting another person entirely, it goes round, around and round, sometimes if you are lucky, you get the opportunity to have a relationship with the person, other times you have to be friends with them because you still want them in your life, you get friend-zoned, the circle does not stop. Good boys want to be involved with girls that might be far above their grade and good girls want to be with boys they cannot have and far above their grade.
Eventually when you finally have the relationship you desire, they either take you for granted, cheat or they are non-challant about the way they act, they do not call anymore, they do not express feelings and things get to be static. You get to be really lucky when you find someone that likes you and you like them back, both parties are crazy about each other, that is probably the best but getting someone to be real with you is a full time job, everyone has been scarred by past relationships that they simply lock their hearts away, the tests a person goes through in a relationship before they can get their partner to be vulnerable is challenging, you accept a lot of things, when you react to the way they behave, they focus on that, no apology is given, you are made to look like the bad person when you are just complaining about the way you are being treated.
Dating for women or ladies is exhausting, every guy wants to be with you but you cannot figure out who is sincere and who just wants to waste your time, eventually when they choose a partner, its always the wrong person, I have lot of female friends and I get to or try to be there for them when they are going through relationship dramas, I have experienced a lady stay with a guy through thick and thin then eventually gets left behind for someone he thinks is sexier, he spends and does everything to impress her but she leaves when she is not getting what she wants from him then he goes back to the person that was there but she already moved on. There are instances where she does everything right, she provides, she gives acts of service and has a bright future, she still gets trampled on, what is about women/ ladies that are in places of power that scares men, is it ego or they simply cannot stand ladies with principles, they cannot stand women that will not allow you waste their time.
Furthermore, let us talk about the ladies who do not understand their place in relationships, they find a good guy, get whatever they think they can from him and leave but that is the man they are meant to keep but they cannot see above their wants, they just want to go out, chill around and have fun, that is not a bad thing but does it have to be every time, you can unwind after every stressful week but some just want to have fun, they do not contribute to the relationship, they act more like leeches, taking and taking but never contributing, they leave whenever they see that they cannot get anything from you.
Intellect- Will- Action!