Now the first thing you may have noticed is that I stated courtship separately from relationships. why? because I believe they are different with courtship being a kind of relationship which is basically how two or more people relate with each other or with one another. using the oxford dictionary, the first three definitions are not relating to romance or sex but then, the forth defines relationship as “A romantic or sexual involvement”. So how did we get to the point where relationship is almost always interpreted as the one between people who are romantically or sexually involved with each other or are courting? well that’s a topic for another day. Today, I just want to share my experience with people who have had high expectations from not in in relationships.
Now, let me start with people being different and having things to offer. Let’s take a simple example of the different staffs of a company: the engineers are different from the accountants, management, marketers and so on. Now they are all different but all contribute to the goals of the company as directed by management so when relating with an engineer you do not expect him/her to understand the accounts of the company like the accountant or at all and you would not expect the accountant to understand the workings of the machines used in production. You see, with companies as examples, ideologies seem simple and easy to understand or apply but let’s come back to reality and compare this to how we relate with people especially in boy-girl relationships as some people will call it. Now allow me to first share my thoughts on reality of individual identity. A person has a character combination whether self-imposed, adopted willingly or forcefully. in the end a person has a combination of characters or thought processes with its boundaries, for example: A conservative person would have his/her own benefits which could be financial attentiveness which sometimes has a tradeoff (the down side of something as considered by someone) which could be every time scrutiny in spending money. I will like to show lighter on this ideology with examples of specific characters having benefits and tradeoffs and cases where some people they are involved with request two polar opposite characters from them.
A simple example of such would be introverts: people who derive more pleasure from their own company compared to the company of others. according to oxford dictionary; An introverted person is someone who is considered more thoughtful that social with a personality more inward than outwardly directed; one who often prefers to have time in non-social situations. Now imagine someone like this, don’t you think that they would be very helpful in some cases that requires a calm calculated and cautious mind? They will. But then again, someone like this would not be excited about parties or meetings or social gatherings. They can be good for spotting missed details in analysis but would not be your go to person for an informal meeting with potential clients after a meeting.
In conclusion, the same thing applies to relationships; an introvert would not be as interested in communication as an extrovert and the extrovert will be bored to death with outings that are enjoyed in solace. A principled person would not be as spontaneous and a nonprincipled person can be trusted to keep to anything; each new day holds a possible change or switch. I think some people would make a huge difference if they start paying attention to their relationship partners and knowing their boundaries and just being more considerate. Remember, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will thing it is stupid so . That’s for fish, for human, their will feel depressed so try and be more realistic with expectations from people.
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