‘My mother scammed me’ Sonia repeatedly mentioned to me. I was shocked because I have never heard anyone say that they were duped by their biological Mum. I laughed it off thinking she was joking, but when I saw the look on her face, I realized she was serious. It was later she explained to me that since she graduated from the university, her parents stopped giving her money for upkeep and so when she asked her mum to release the money her uncles, aunties and other people who visited their home gifted her while she was growing; her response was that Sonia should calculate all the money they spent in catering for her from birth till now and pay back before she would release the money. I laughed so hard I almost cracked my ribs. And then I said to her ‘you have been scammed; Nigeria has happened to you’.
Growing up with an African mum has been nothing short of amazing. They deserve the award for ‘bringing you back to factory settings’ whenever you fall out of line. They are the light of our lives and the pain in our ‘asses’ to put it in a mild manner. Being raised by an African mum, there is a good chance you will never grumble in her presence, much less direct it at her. It is an ‘abomination’, It would very likely earn you a slap across the face – a hot one! Whatever your objections to a situation, you will very humbly state them (if at all) taking great care not to annoy her in the process.
So, I made up my mind to do this post when I remembered the first time I tried on a red lipstick at home. I love red lip sticks; they accentuate my full lips and that was my ‘go to’ make up during my university days. But the fact was I avoided putting on a red lip stick at home to avoid listening to the story of my life from my parents. There was a certain day, after I graduated, I was to attend a naming ceremony with my mum and so I threw caution to the wind and applied a light red lipstick. Do you know this woman started crying oh, she said ‘so you are now spoilt, is this what you do at school, is this the kind of training your father and I gave to you?’ That day, she made sure I cleaned the lipstick before following her. I was almost frustrated because I did not see how applying a red lipstick denotes being spoilt, but what do I know, she is my mum after all?
A typical African mum in certain situations when you say: ‘mummy, I feel sick and she replies, ‘why won’t you feel sick when you have been pressing your phone since morning’ or when you say I came 2nd position in my class and she replies: ‘so the person that came first has two heads, abi?’ An African mother will never say they miss you even when it is so glaring that they do. It usually happens you are on phone with them and they mention one or two things that you are not aware happened to them and if you make the unforgiveable error of saying ‘Mum I didn’t know oh, when did this happened’, you are likely to fall into their trap. And their response will likely be ‘how will you know? You don’t call or visit’.
Several people I discussed this with told me they blocked their mothers on Whatsapp, others said they blocked their mum from seeing that displayed whatsapp pictures.
##To be continued
##EMBA 28
Annabel Nzegbule
The Bedrock