You are a man, why are you crying? You are a man, why are you laughing too much? You are a man, why aren’t you protecting enough? You are a man, why aren’t you providing enough? “You are not my type” “You are too short” “You are too ugly” “You are a man, yet you talk too much” “You are a man, why did you react like that?”. Men are often the first point of call when something is wrong in a society. They are usually the recipient of negative comments and expecting not to react with emotionally. Men are often reacted to with harsh words and little or no empathy just because of a societal mindset. It is not a strange phenomenon anymore that most suicide in Africa is predominantly done by the Male gender. According to the Nigeran correctional service, the male inmate accounts for 98% of the total inmate population. This result is staggering and a paradigm shift is of utmost importance to change such situation. The reality of societal expectations on men is a pervasive and complex issue that permeates various aspects of their lives. The pressure to conform to traditional ideals of masculinity exacts a toll on mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. Breaking free from these expectations requires a collective effort to redefine masculinity, promote emotional expression, and create an inclusive society where men can authentically be themselves.
At the core of these societal expectations is the definition of masculinity. In many cultures, masculinity is often associated with traits like strength, dominance, and emotional stoicism. Men are expected to embody these characteristics, and any deviation is often met with raised eyebrows or outright rejection. This narrow definition of masculinity creates a stifling environment where men feel compelled to conform, suppressing aspects of their true selves to fit into a predetermined mold.
The pressure to conform to traditional masculine ideals begins early in a man’s life. Boys are taught that crying is a sign of weakness, that vulnerability is unacceptable, and that success is measured by financial achievements and physical prowess. These expectations not only limit the emotional expression of men but also perpetuate harmful stereotypes that contribute to a toxic culture of hyper-masculinity.
As boys transition into adolescence and adulthood, the weight of societal expectations intensifies. The expectation to be the breadwinner, the stoic provider, and the unyielding pillar of strength becomes a heavy burden to bear. The repercussions of these expectations are multifaceted, affecting men’s mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.
One of the most insidious effects of societal expectations on men is the toll it takes on their mental health. The pressure to conform to a rigid ideal of masculinity often leads to a suppression of emotions. Men are discouraged from expressing vulnerability or seeking help for mental health issues, contributing to a silent epidemic of untreated emotional struggles. The stigma surrounding mental health in men is deeply rooted in societal expectations, creating a barrier that prevents many from seeking the support they desperately need.
Moreover, the pursuit of success, as defined by societal norms, can lead to a relentless drive for perfection. Men may find themselves caught in a perpetual cycle of achievement, pushing their physical and mental limits to meet external expectations. This constant pressure can result in stress, anxiety, and even depression, as the fear of failure looms large over every endeavor.
The impact of societal expectations on men is not confined to individual well-being; it extends into the realm of relationships. Men, conditioned to be strong and emotionally reserved, may struggle to form deep and meaningful connections. The fear of vulnerability can hinder authentic communication and intimacy, creating a barrier between partners. This emotional distance not only affects romantic relationships but can also strain friendships and familial bonds.
Furthermore, the rigid gender roles imposed by societal expectations limit the range of acceptable behaviors for men. Expressing traits traditionally associated with femininity, such as empathy, compassion, or a preference for collaboration over competition, is often viewed as a deviation from the norm. Men who embrace these qualities may face ridicule or discrimination, further reinforcing the boundaries of acceptable behavior.
Breaking free from the shackles of societal expectations requires a paradigm shift in collective consciousness. Men must be empowered to embrace their authentic selves, free from the constraints of traditional masculinity. This involves dismantling stereotypes, challenging harmful norms, and fostering an environment that openly rewards their act of service and their emotional contributions.
However, from my time at the Lagos Business School I have noticed that the school plays a crucial role in reshaping societal expectations. By promoting emotional intelligence, empathy, and open communication, the Lagos Business School cultivates an environment that nurtures the holistic development of men. Additionally, media and popular culture must contribute to a more nuanced and inclusive portrayal of masculinity, showcasing the strength in vulnerability and the diversity of male experiences.
In conclusion, Dear Kings, you are Loved, you are okay, you are Strong. Dear men you are more than enough. The society needs you; you are useful. Dear Kings, your emotions are valid and you are heard. Keep grinding and be the best you can be in joy and peace. From a king to another king, Keep soaring high kings.
My First Time In Lagos Business School Campus