WHAT DO YOU WANT?

What do you want? This sounds like a simple question, but is it that simple? As a coach, I have realised that many people think they know what they want until asked, “What do you want?”. 

Over the years, I have realised that questions are important, but asking the right question is essential as it points you in the right direction. Asking the right questions brings the proper knowledge, and it also took me a while to learn to ask the right questions. The “what do you want” question helps you think critically about what you want and why. Frank Moore Colby states that ”Every man ought to be inquisitive through every hour of his great adventure down to the day when he shall no longer cast a shadow in the sun. For if he dies without a question in his heart, what excuse is there for his continuance?” Asking the proper question helps identify solutions for where you desire to be, what you would do, and when. It also raises our awareness of who we are, what matters to us, how we get in our way and how we can do better. Whether you are making a career choice, a choice of life partner or what city to live in, trying to sort through this plethora of choices can be overwhelming, and these decisions require mental energy. No wonder life’s most significant choices feel so exhausting. Not being intentional about what you want at a given time makes you only focused on what is in front of you, leading to frustration and disillusionment, which further leads to restlessness and depression.

Figuring out what you want at a particular time is essential because it gives you purpose and makes life worth living. I struggled to identify and define what I wanted until I learned the GROW Model. GROW is an acronym for goal, current realities, options (obstacles), and will or way forward. This model was initially developed by Graham Alexander, Alan Fine, and Sir John Whitmore in the 1980s. An excellent example of the GROW model is my decision to have an MBA. First, I had to decide what I wanted (goal) and establish where I was (current realities). Next, I had to check on various routes to achieve my goal (options), and finally, I had to establish the will to ensure I was committed to making the journey and prepared for the obstacles I could meet on the way. Let us further analyse the GROW model.

To establish the goal, it is vital to understand the behaviour that needs to be changed and structure the change as a goal to be achieved. To best accomplish this goal, the goal has to be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. Next, people must consider their starting point to achieve a goal to get all vital information. The next step is to determine all possible options for reaching this objective. You could think of questions like what else can I do? What if constraints were removed, would that change things? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each option? What factors or considerations would I use to weigh the options? What do I need to stop doing to achieve this goal? What obstacles stand in your way? Finally, it would be best if you committed specific actions to move forward to achieve this goal. Possible questions to ask at this last stage are: What could stop you from moving forward? How will you overcome this, and how can you keep yourself motivated? Asking the right questions leads to the right answers. I hope you find this information helpful as you work on the way forward in life.

#MMBA5.