This blog post is about how I overcame my fear of not knowing everything in my MBA Program when I started my MBA program.
I introduced myself as a chartered accountant in my Corporate Financial Accounting (CFA) class. This was true, as I had the ACCA designation. However, this announcement also brought me an unexpected challenge: the pressure to know everything about accounting.
The truth is, I’m still learning how certain accounting treatments work in real life, how to recognize some types of transactions, and how to keep up with all the changes happening within the standards and the profession at large. Accounting is a vast and dynamic field, and no one can claim to master it completely.
The pressure, or at least the expectation, that I should have all the answers made me feel anxious before every CFA class. I worried that I would be seen as incompetent if I didn’t remember a concept or have an immediate answer to a question posed. I realized that my main issue was not the expectation that others had of me as a chartered accountant, but the judgment that I had of myself as incompetent if I couldn’t answer all questions. I projected this judgment onto my colleagues as a way to externalize the threat.
It took me quite some time to come to this realization. Once I did, it became clear to me that the way to overcome this anxiety was to face it head-on. Facing this fear meant putting myself out there for the worst-case scenario to happen. The worst-case scenario was that I would be unable to answer a particular question or resolve an accounting issue discussed in class. The idea was to let it happen enough times that I would get over the fear of looking stupid or incompetent. I believed that this judgment would fade away once I embraced my fallibility in public. Once everyone else knew that I didn’t know everything, there would be nothing to be afraid of.
The purpose of this blog post is to inspire anyone who may be struggling with self-judgment and fear of incompetence, as I have been. I’m facing this challenge head-on and working on fixing it. I believe we can overcome any fear by confronting it and creating opportunities to do so. The MBA program is my chance to overcome my insecurity and to encourage others who share it.
My Takeaway: This MBA program has created an opportunity for me to work on an insecurity that I have, which is the fear of being exposed as incompetent or not knowledgeable. The CFA class serves as an opportunity for me to put myself in a position to accept the fact that I don’t know everything, and that’s okay. I learned that being a chartered accountant doesn’t mean having all the answers, but having the curiosity and humility to ask questions, seek feedback, and learn from others. I also learned that being vulnerable and honest can help me build trust and rapport with my classmates and professors, who are also on their own learning journeys.
THE SANTA SEASON