This was one of the first few terms I learnt as a child, for obvious reasons. I grew up in the North Eastern region of Nigeria and over there, it was common with the Hausa’s and Fulani’s as at few years back to have their young girls married off to older men who were sometimes their father’s age mates. It was believed then that once a girl has had her first menstruation, the next should be in her husband’s house.
This custom ruined the future of alot of young girls as they were married off sometimes in exchange for money and at other times on religious grounds. The girls who were married off were expected to birth children immediately after marriage. The process of Genital Mutilation mainly came in at this point. The girls who were sometimes 15, 14, or 13 years old were not mature enough to go through the process of childbirth and usually in the labour process would have their genitals cut, injured or changed due to the poor medical conditions surrounding the birth.
The Mutilation process subjected the young girls to pain and often times bleeding and/or diseases that threatened their life. Already at the point of marriage a lot of these girls gave up their dreams and aspirations as they were usually withdrawn from school (i.e. for the very few that had access to Education).
It was some pain losing my friends as I grew up. I had attended primary and junior level education with some of these girls but with time, one after the other, majority were withdrawn from school and married off to older men. Some of these girlfriends were the smartest students in class who had their hopes dashed after marriage and childbirth.
Growing up and attending school together, I had hoped with some of these friends that we would grow up to be politicians, bankers and lawyers. I had some who were fascinated by pilots and wanted to be one themselves. All of that ended when they reached puberty and began menstruating.
On one account, we lost a dear friend who was married off as a 14 year old to a 46 year old man. It was sad as she died after the delivery of her first child. She was mutilated and subjected to poor medical treatments. But, back then very little could be done as it was cultural order of the day.
This contributes to one of the reasons why I have a yearning for young Northern girls as I hope to someday help in ending this cultural norm. A lot of development has taken place as the rate of FGM has reduced drastically in the North, with the help of United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) and the World Health Organisation (WHO) working through advocay, eduaction and support for affected communities. However, girls in some rural areas are still subjected to this terror.
The girl child can be as much as the boy child only if she is given the wings to fly. I hope someday, all people and culture would realise this.
