WORLD OF MY OWN/PERSONAL WORLD DESIRES

EXTRACTS FROM 16

‘If I had a world of my own, one where I could create, I really do not know what I would put in it or if people are meant to live there. But if it is just ‘MY’ own world, *sigh*, I will fill it up with my life as it is but with notes attached to all of my actions. I would try not to regret the things I have done but would definitely recreate different scenarios where things could have gone differently. I would always have a dreamy feeling, like the one you get when you wake up from a very lovely dream but just cannot for the life of you remember what it was about, but you still feel happy. I will fill this world with love, not for anything in particular though, but just because I can. I would also try to put that special person in there. I would not fill it up with castles or riches or make it a perfect world because then, it becomes unreal. But I do have a world of my own and I fill it with all the will’s and will nots plus the what ifs of my life.’

Reflecting so many years later, this text expresses a profound desire for a world of my own creation, where I can create and shape it according to my preferences, needs and whims. I admit to being unsure of what to include in a world meant for others, but for my personal world, I would fill it up with the nuances and complexities of my own life experiences.

I acknowledge the presence of many regrets but I also choose not to dwell on them, instead I opt to relive those moments of vulnerabilities and put my imagination to task creating different outcomes. I crave a constant wrapped – up – in – a – bubble – dreamy feeling, one that surrounds my world with a sense of wonder, love and happiness.

The inclusion of love is quite significant, as it is not tied to any specific person or object but rather a general feeling that permeates my world. This speaks to my desire for a world that is not just about material possessions, academic achievements or life advancements but also emotional connections. Who do we surround ourselves with?

I recognize the temptation to make my world perfect, but I reject this idea in favor of a more realistic and authentic world. Because really, what is a perfect world without reality? I acknowledge that imperfections and flaws and some bad experiences in the mix are necessary to have a life that is interesting and worth living.

Overall, this text conveys a sense of introspection and longing for a world that is uniquely my own. A world where I get to fill with the nuances and experiences of my own life and love and pain. My desire speaks to the universal human longing for control over our own lives and the worlds we inhabit.

Merci Beaucoup.