Friendship

There’s a very popular saying that goes “20 friends cannot play together for 20years” I completely agree with this saying and this isn’t because I believe it’s not possible to sustain a friendship for 20years, but because I believe human beings evolve as they grow .

What do I mean ? Simply put, what I mean is although we may have kicked off on a good note, had a beautiful blossoming friendship, at some point we begin to have different needs in life, we begin to desire different things, we begin to have completely varying passions, and the wind begins to blow us in different directions.

I’d give a very practical example, I grew up having a very triangular life; that is my routine was Church, Home and School and all 3 points were within the same proximity. This meant I had friends that belonged to either one or all of my places of interaction.

Specifically I had 2 friends and so that made us a clique of 3. Our meetings were the most exciting as we played like children would, eat together, play role play, laughed and made jokes at the neighbours and really just had good times when we were together.

We maintained this beautiful friendship all through our teenage years, but as time went by we all had to make moves. Some of us had to change schools, some relocated houses, some traveled outside the country to school.

This left us with only summer and Christmas holidays to bond, for people that would normally see each other every day, our meetings became during the summer holidays when schools aren’t In session or during the Christmas holidays. Catching up was usually very interesting as we all started to have other relationships in our different spheres of life. We always looked forward to spending the holidays with each other. Initially, there wasn’t any awkwardness as we’d all just “exchange” gist and play “what’s new with you”.
Over time you begin to build new friendships, form new bonds with people, you start to become a part of an entirely new community. This should be new friends at school, colleagues at work and so on.

I have come to realize that time comes to you in seasons, and so friendships come per season. This isn’t to say when I am in a new season of my life I throw away my old friends, absolutely not! However, it just means I’m in a new phase and I met new people that share in my season or phase, and so walking on the path with them will be a lot easier than walking alone.

I have also come to realize that seasons of friendships fade, you may have been my friend In a particular season of my life and so you babe fulfilled your purpose in that season. It is very okay to move on and create new friendships.

Maintaining a life long friendship(or friendships)isn’t a walk in the park; and to do this, it’ll require a lot of patience, Tolerance and understanding. First, you will need to understand that In order to be in a friendship for life, you have to know that you and your friend (or friend) won’t be the same people as years go, and so it’s a conscious decision you will have to make.

Also, it is very important to not be judgmental of your friends; as we evolve , our life’s choices evolve too and we may not necessarily agree.

There is so much beauty in respecting peoples views. Although we do not agree on certain things, we are all very entitled to our opinions and a healthy friendship requires a no judgement zone to thrive.

Finally, I’d say it’s very important to nurture friendships; in as much as 20 people cannot okay together for 20years, I believe strongly in watering and nurturing friendships. You don’t have to see each other everyday to have an amazing relationship.

Invest in meaningful friendships; and identify when it’s time to move on from old friendships that aren’t adding value to you.

Also , always remember “your NETWORK determines your NET WORTH “ and So do not forget to do a periodic audit of your circle of influence.