Today we will be considering the topic that underscores loving oneself. Tag along as we explore the topic of Self-worth and esteem.
Self-worth is often confused with self-esteem, although interrelated, according to Dr. Christina Hibbert: “Self-esteem refers to what we think, feel, and believe about ourselves. Self-worth is recognizing ‘I am greater than all of those things.’ It is a deep knowing that I am of value, that I am loveable, necessary to this life, and of incomprehensible worth.” (2013).
Self-esteem, either high or low, and is shaped by life experiences. A person’s self-worth begins to develop at an early age, with their parents having a major influence.
Kind, Intentional, knowledgeable, and caring parents help their children create a positive self-image. Parents who do not feel good about themselves or others sometimes project their insecurity and ignorance on their children by belittling or discouraging them. This leads the child down a path of self-doubt.
Healthy Self-Esteem
There are some simple ways to determine if one has healthy self-esteem:
- Believing in a set of firmly placed values and principles and being able to defend or assert oneself in the face of opposition to them. If, after learning something new, the old value does not fit, individuals with positive self-esteem do not have difficulty modifying their beliefs.
- Being able to make choices, trusting your judgment, and not feeling guilty about choices if someone does not agree.
- Not living in the past or future, not worrying about “what ifs.” Fully living in the present day
- Believing in your capacity to solve problems, adjust to failures, and ask for assistance.
- Participating in and enjoying many activities and hobbies.
- Believing that you are valuable and that others will enjoy spending time with you.
- Resisting manipulation by others.
- Being sensitive to the feelings and needs of others, accepting and abiding by social norms.
- Considering oneself self-worthy and equal to others, regardless of differences in finance and personal success.
- Avoid dwelling on past negative experiences.
Having healthy self-esteem can help motivate you to reach your goals because you can navigate life knowing that you can accomplish what you set your mind to. Additionally, when you have healthy self-esteem, you can set appropriate boundaries in relationships and maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and others.
Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem may manifest in various ways. If you have low self-esteem:
Heavy self-criticism tends to create a habitual state of dissatisfaction with oneself.
Exaggerating the magnitude of mistakes or behaviors and the inability to reach self-forgiveness.
- Hypersensitivity to criticism leads to feelings of attack and is not open to constructive criticism.
- Chronic indecision due to fear of making mistakes.
- Excessive will to please out of fear of displeasing someone.
- Perfectionism leads to constant frustration or underachievement when perceived perfection is not achieved.
- Hostility or irritability: easily angered even over minor things.
- Feelings of insignificance.
- General negativity about life and often an inability to enjoy life.
Given these characteristics, it is easy to see commonalities between depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Low self-esteem has the potential to lead to a variety of mental health disorders, including anxiety and depression. You may also find it difficult to pursue goals and maintain healthy relationships. Having low self-esteem can seriously impact the quality of life and increase the risk of experiencing suicidal thoughts.
Treating poor self-esteem is doable, and does not take forever. It feels good. Challenging yourself, changing focus, and learning better thinking skills can boost self-esteem almost immediately.
Excessive Self-Esteem
High self-esteem is often mislabeled as narcissism; however, there are some distinct traits that differentiate these terms. Individuals with narcissistic traits may appear to have high self-esteem, but their self-esteem may be high or low and unstable, constantly shifting depending on the situation.
Those with excessive self-esteem:
- May be preoccupied with being perfect.
- May always focus on being right.
- May believe that they cannot fail.
- May believe they are more skilled or better than others.
- May express grandiose ideas.
- May overestimate their skills and abilities.
When self-esteem is too high, it can result in relationship problems, difficulty in social situations, and an inability to accept criticism.
Having looked at all the varieties of self-esteem, the task is to understand one’s personality and make necessary adjustments for a better and happier life. Till we meet again to consider another interesting topic have a great weekend.
Wale
