CHRONICLES OF A DANFO RIDE

It is now no longer news that one of the comfortable and affordable options we have available to us to commute to and fro work has announced quite an uncomfortable increase in their fare rates due to the current fuel situation the country is experiencing. You may say “Oh! No, this is way too much, I did rather use Danfo” . . .

Now imagine you decide to take danfo tomorrow. They surprise you with a N1,500 [One Thousand Naira] fare –. You say “okay laslas man must get to work”, you then enter and get squeezed at the back next to someone carrying fresh fish because the bus doesn’t have a trunk. You try to escape the smell of fish so you look to the other side of your sit for comfort and the man is wearing a singlet and hasn’t showered in days and has ‘odour l’homme’ all over him So you’re squeezed up and trapped In between two unpleasant smells… you get to Jakande and LASTMA stops your bus asks everyone to come down You all get off ….by this time the sun is out cos you stood Ajah for long before getting the bus and the traffic had already built up so you have been on the road for close to two hours and just getting to Jakande Now you are sweating. “Conductor put me for another bus” the other passengers begin to say angrily. The conductor won’t do it he is busy negotiating with LASTMA and you are standing wondering what your next move will be After 20 minutes of back and forth between LASTMA and the driver your bus finally moves. “Ope ooooo” you are happy because no way would you have seen a connecting bus at Jakande. You get to chisco bustop…. the bus begins to jerk…. “ah ah kilode????”…. bus keeps jerking till it comes to a halt. The Driver comes down and begins to check his car. conductor joins him after 5 minutes of no progress. You sit there sighing involuntarily. The stress is getting to you “Abeg make una come down ooo, make I join una ” …. the conductor says. You can’t believe what you just heard “Excuse me are you saying the car won’t start?” … you ask.

“Ogbeni come down you dey there dey speak English, come down sir” the conductor says Now you’re out of the bus standing with a crowd at Chisco bustop. Desperate commuters awho have stood for hours ready to kick, push and pull just to get a spot are your competition You are soaked in sweat with borrowed fish smell all over you and you can swear you were careful not to let the fish touch you so how come? ” Why the hell do I smell of fish?”  You are thinking to yourself. Or wait … you sniff again; Kai a sprinkle of ‘odour l’homme’ from the man who sat on the other side is now on you too. You can’t recognize this blend of smells on you. “Abeg wetin be this? You speak aloud in frustration.

By the time you look up…. conductor and driver are not on the scene…. your money don go

😄😄😄 (sorry I laughed)

Now you think to yourself…… ” I should have used TreepZ“