Friend or Acquaintance?

At last, I have someone who is a true definition of the word “friend”. The word friend is commonly used to address someone we know but the truth is, the word has been misconstrued for something else. I too have always regarded people I meet and have had interactions with a couple of times as friends but the truth is most of them are better off in the “acquaintance” zone.

In 2017 I got a new job at an Educational technology-based company. From the first day of my employment, I noticed that people were nice to me and I could feel the aura of friendliness in the air. It made settling in quite easy for me. I could have struggled a lot finding my way around the office environment and getting things done, but my colleagues were always there to help and I obliged them. Within a few months into employment, I have had a few friends. We would go to lunch together and have friendly conversations while getting to know each other, a couple of times we would go home together. It was a new experience for me.

It seemed like everyone wanted to be my friend – men and women alike. Since I was an amateur in making friends, I decided to go with the flow. I welcomed everyone who reached out to me and we became friends!

In my third month, I started experiencing some difficulties at work. Due to the rainy season which had begun at the time, commuting to and from work became a serious challenge for me. I knew I had to do something about it as my job was at stake. Apart from my job, it was very risky getting home so late in the night and leaving for the office as early as 4.30 am.  I realized that this began to impact my productivity at work. The ideal solution would have been to get an apartment very close to my workplace but as a new employee with only a few months into employment, I did not have enough money to rent an apartment. I decided to take the next alternative which was to live with someone until I had saved up enough money to rent an apartment.

I am sure that you would think that it should not be an issue since I had made so many friends in the office. Well, that was not the case but yes, I thought so too. Of all the friends I had made at the office, not one was willing to help. It is alarming how someone who says, “If you need help with anything, just let me know” and in the next minute, the same person would say “Oh dear, I am so sorry that I cannot help at this time”, next it comes with different reasons. I felt disappointed in my “so-called” friends.

Were they really friends?

If I were to assess them based on the popular saying “A friend in need is a friend indeed”, then no one would achieve a pass mark.

About that same time, the company had just employed some new employees and I had a task to conduct an onboarding session with them. Shortly after the onboarding session, I received a call from one of my new colleagues. She said that she noticed that I was not fully present at the session. In her words, I seemed distracted and it felt like I was in a hurry to finish the session. Then she said, “If you do not mind, I would like to ask if all is well and if there is anything I could do to help.” I was deeply touched. Certainly, things were not going well and I needed help urgently so I decided to share my troubles with her.

To my surprise, my new friend came to my rescue. I did not expect the kind of help she rendered and I certainly did not expect that someone I barely knew could help in the way she did.

This indeed is a true friend. From the first day until the date, my friend has not only met but also exceeded the expectations of a friend. Having realized how completely different she was from the rest of the crowd, I decided that it was time to redefine my relationships.

A true friend is priceless, there is no substitute for it. A friend is there in good and bad times. Anyone who identifies with you in your glory moment but does not identify with you in your sorry moment is not deserving of the title “friend”; They are better off in the acquaintance zone.

#MMBA 3